Many kids simply do not get enough sleep, and parents often do not even realize that sleep simply is the problem.

Most young children need about 11 hours of sleep at night. Plus, we strongly advise a nap, or at least quiet time, every afternoon. Even school age kids typically do better with this much sleep. In their middle years they may get by on less, but you should be on the watch out for over-tired teenagers! Basically, if you read the statistics, most people could use more sleep!

When one child gets easily upset and cries about something that the other kids just shake off, Too-Tired is often the problem.

If one child ALWAYS seems over-sensitive, it is very possible that he or she may NEVER be getting enough sleep. It would be very easy to think it’s a personality thing when it’s just lack of sleep. Trust us on this! Chronically tired children may exhibit difficult behaviors that you and others have grown to think are their personality:

• Over-reactive
• Gloomy
• Lack of Energy
• Inability to Focus
• Impulsive
• Whiny
• ‘Wild’
• etc.

We’ve seen major *personality changes* from simply focusing on getting sleep! Obviously, personality was not the issue.

If you suspect this may be the issue for a child, you may be doing them one of
the most important favors of their life by checking out whether they are getting
enough sleep, and if they are not, making it your mission to see to it that they
do! This will not always be easy , but it isn’t impossible.

Many adults don’t realize that being up late Friday or Saturday, which CANNOT
be *made up* by getting them to bed earlier on Sunday, can easily throw off the
entire week!

Too-Tired children will sometimes do things on one of their Too-Tired days that have consequences later. We have seen tired children hit or bite or be mean in some other way to a good friend. The friendship can actually take a hit – and some parents may over-react and think that their child shouldn’t be friends with the other child – making it even more serious.

On tough days, always evaluate and see if the cause is simply not enough sleep!

Tired children (and many adults!) don’t want to admit that they are tired. Amazingly, children who wake up in the morning and announce that they are “NOT going to take a nap,” are actually tired almost 100% of the time (and you should make sure they DO take that nap!).

If what is needed is simply more sleep, then it is important to show that you mean business. The sleep factor is so important that we consider it non-negotiable. However, we still try hard to be flexible and fun. This way, when you do have to be strict about getting more sleep, children won’t think you’re being unfair.

If a child resists bed/naptime, get into your best CrabbieMaster persona while staying firm about the bedtime or naptime expectation. Talk calmly about how important it is. Do your best to think, talk and act in terms of helping him or her BEAT The Too-Tired Crabbies (versus the very natural sense of frustration or even anger you may feel). Done right, any child will, in time, feel, appreciate and respond to your support.

Do not make the mistake of thinking it will be better next time if you don't address the problem. At the same time, trying to “lay down the law” won’t work, especially in the long run. The single best way to deal with it is to talk about it (calmly).

Make a plan together to keep The Too-Tired Crabbies away ALL DAY to make
the next bedtime or naptime easier. Then move on to have a fun day with a key focus on all the little “Crack Down on The Crabbies” things you can do. This will increase the chances that the next bed/naptime will go much better because:

• You had a good day together.
• You worked on BEATING The Crabbies.
• You talked about the plan together throughout the day.

BUT REMEMBER - breaking children's ‘habits’ (like resisting bedtime) can take
a few tries (just like ‘adult habits’ like stopping smoking or dieting), so you want your mindset to take into account the possibility that it could take a few tries.

We have never had children that couldn’t be convinced that rest time, or bedtime
(during our sleepovers), is a good idea if we really want to have good days.
They know that when they aren’t Too-Tired they have more fun and can make
more choices. Of course, some have required more convincing, even with the fun
of The Crabbies, than others. So remember - Stick with the plan!

Once the child really has earned it, reward him or her with a sticker on their Too-Tired ‘CrabbieControl Chart’, plus whatever else you think is appropriate.

Do not get weak and give it out before it is earned!

If you back down a little bit today, tomorrow you will be pushed further, and the
next day, further again. BEE NICE, but firm, on the standard, and let go of any temptation for lectures or power struggles. (When you forget this guideline, don’t fret a lot, just reset.)

We can’t emphasize too much how it is - YOU AND THE CHILD AGAINST THE CRABBIES!!

We believe in this stuff (obviously!), and it still amazes us how much better a child will do socially and academically when he or she is not tired compared to when he or she has not had enough sleep. The difference is night and day for EVERY child!

Make sure the child’s diet isn’t causing the sleeplessness. Make sure:

• No caffeine at all, or at least not late in the day.
• Stay away from chocolate close to bed/naptime.
• Stay away from sugar close to bed/naptime.
• Milk works better than juice to aid sleep.

After having a full day, as bedtime approaches:

• Start winding down.
• Talk calmly, quietly, even in a whisper so no Crabbies can hear the plan.
• Promise to do something ‘crazy’ like dance on the table together the next morning if together they BEAT The Crabbies this time, or make some other plan for something fun in the morning. This is a BIG HIT!!
• Be sure to follow through on the ‘reward’ if and only if they were successful at falling asleep reasonably, quickly and quietly.

Praising success leads to further success. If you don’t praise the success, you could get lucky, but typically a child won't be all that interested in the plan if you don’t give enough praise. Even after the habit to get to sleep seems to be in place, be sure to bring up once in awhile how fun it is to keep beating Too-Tired every night. Kids make and break habits more readily than adults, so you have a good oppurtunity to help them develop proper sleeping habits early.