The BIG Four:
(1) Blame The Crabbies!
(2) Prevent The Crabbies!
(3) Mind Your Own Crabbies!
(4) Make It FUN!

Guideline #1: Blame The Crabbies!

DO NOT SAY, “Boy, you really have The Crabbies today!!”

This is not the way to - BLAME THE CRABBIES!!

Try these instead:

• “Oh, oh. I think The Crabbies are coming.”
• “Oh, oh. I think The Crabbies are trying to get us.”
• “Oh, oh. I think The Crabbies are going to get me.”

And then, for example, “I think the Hungry Crabbie found out we didn’t have our snack yet. Can you get the crackers while I get the milk? That will scare him off!”

If you say,
“Boy, you really have The Crabbies today!”, or
“You sure are Crabby!”, or
“What’s making you so Crabby today?!”

Then,
The Crabbies Will love it!
They'll win! BIG TIME!!
And The Crabbies just love to win!

FACE IT…everyone will get The Crabbies if you just blame the children!

See the point? If you tell the children that they “Have The Crabbies,” they are going to feel just as bad as if you blame them outright. But if you turn it into ‘teamwork’, as in “us against them”, they will love to help you Beat The Crabbies!

Some people wonder whether letting The Crabbies take the blame is an ‘excuse,’ a way out of taking responsibility for misbehavior. “Hey, it’s out of my control – The Crabbies did it!” It certainly is a valid question, but from everything we have seen it has not been an issue at all. Also, even though it is The Crabbies who "get the blame" the children understand that it is their, and our, responsibility to get rid of The Crabbies, turn our day around, and behave in ways that keep The Crabbies away. By identifying the problem and working to fix it without feelings of guilt, children have more incentive to take responsibility for their actions.

You can also handle The Crabbies and avoid power struggles if you “own your
own Crabbies.” Think about it – if The Crabbies have gotten to the children, they’re probably not too far from getting you too! (If they haven’t already!) So no matter who The Crabbies are targeting first, start ‘Brushing’ and ‘Blowing’ and “Cracking Down on The Crabbies” that are nearest to you. Then ask the children if they think The Crabbies are trying to get them too!

If they ‘own’ them too – great, then you can start fixing the problem.

If they aren't ready to own them – just make a decision on what has to be done, but Blame The Crabbies! Yes, you can do this. Try saying something like, “Oh. Oh. I think The Hungry Crabbies are getting us! Let’s get something to eat real fast. Can you get the cups for us?”

Then, after the difficult period has passed, talk about it together. In time, they will see you as being on their side and they will get on track with managing their behavior as well as BEATING The Crabbies!

It really helps if you do your best to foresee the problem and prevent it before The Crabbies show up! For example, if your child was up late at night, or has a cold, and you think it could be a tough day, talk openly about it. Or, don't forget children need to eat before the Hungry Crabbies show up.

Set out the picture of the appropriate Crabbie and work together to make a plan on how to beat the Crabbie that day. In our preschool, we have all The Crabbies framed and hanging in the hallway. If we are working on beating one, we take it off the wall and put it where it can be seen by the children. If the Crabbie that is bugging you is highly visible, it is easy for everyone to tell him that they are onto him! It works as a great distraction from the trouble, and is an activity on which you are all working together, which is key to getting rid of him. It will not work to do this if the Crabbie is brought out as a punishment or in an angry manner. Period.

Remember, children aren't stupid. They know that there aren't really any Crabbies. They're imaginary. They know this as well as you do. But as fall guys, The Crabbies take on the brunt of the blame, the guilt, all the negative feelings. This way there is no need to deny the problem – we can just identify it (in a FUN way) and fix it.

We have all heard that identifying a problem is the first step toward solving it. The Crabbies give us a way to identify and fix the problem in a non-threatening way.

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Guideline #2: Prevent The Crabbies!!

Here we are getting to what may just be
the single most important part of being CrabbieMasters:

“CRACK DOWN on The Crabbies!” …BEFORE they get you!

Why wait until The Crabbies are in “full swing” before you start working on BEATING them? Make BEATING The Crabbies a natural part the day:

Crabbie PREVENTION is loads of FUN!

If you get excited about BEATING a particular Crabbie on a given day, children will
usually follow your lead and get excited too. Here are a few of the things we have done many, many times and they have worked over and over again.

With the same kids.
With new kids.
With virtually any kids.

We characterize these ‘tricks’ as ‘Letting Loose’ and ‘Being Wacky’. Do what works for you. We define ‘what works’ by the giggles and smiles we get!

Put ‘Smiley Faces’ on your feet

Kids love ‘em! It’s a great way to start the day! You already have two smiles!

Get rid of a few Crabbies without any ‘prompting’

• Blow Out The Crabbies – Right Out the Door! (literally)
• Brush The Crabbies Off – VIGOROUSLY!
• Shake Them Off (Squiggle Squiggle!)
• Sweep Them - Right out your door! Off your front steps! (The more animated the better!)

Before field trips - Shake Them Out

• Right out of the car
• Swerve back and forth as you leave (carefully obviously)
• Do this ONCE and they may ask for it EVERY TIME!

Put a Smiley Face sticker/picture on the ceiling

Looking up helps you feel more positive. Kids get a kick out of knowing what room has the Smiley Face. We like to do things like that – simple surprises – and wait until they notice. It always brightens the day! This is a good way to introduce the concept of looking up instead of walking around with a head that is hanging down (especially with the shoulders slumping). We have one Smiley Face in the kitchen that has been taped up there for over two years! They still get a kick out of it!

Create a positive playtime environment

• Mix quiet play and active play
• Set up activity ‘stations’ - This works for individual children and for groups that you want to sub-divide. 20-30 Minutes per station is a good amount of time; at over 30 minutes young children lose interest fast.

Sharing

VERY IMPORTANT – Young children need to first have a sense of ‘owning’ before they can be good at ‘sharing’. It is far more difficult to share one’s own toys than the school toys.

• In an environment with many children, be sure that there are plenty of toys, and talk about taking turns, sharing, etc.
• In a home environment, when your child is learning to share his own
toys, it is a good idea to decide which toys you will have out for play before having a friend over. (Remember, decide this together.)
• For sharing with siblings, let them have some toys that they don’t
need to share, and some that are for sharing. Letting them ‘own’ some toys helps them learn to share others!

You will be surprised how, as your child gets older, sharing comes more naturally.

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Guideline #3: Mind Your Own Crabbies!!

In other words, use ‘I’ statements, not ‘You’ statements.

If you are going to take a leadership role, and be a CrabbieMaster yourself, you have to be able to own up to your own Crabbies.

If you make it seem like only the children get The Crabbies, but you never do, it’s over! Kaput! You’re dead in the water! They won’t play along!

But, if The Crabbies do show up, and you start to brush them off yourself first, or kick them off of your tennis shoes, or sweep them out the door, they'll join the fun and help you BEAT The Crabbies!

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Guideline #4: Make it FUN!!

Dance on a Table

You and a child can stand on the table, face each other, hold hands, move your feet and ‘jiggle.’

Extra special things call for this:
• BEATING ‘Can’t-Do’ on something that has been a struggle to learn
• BEATING any Crabbie that has been particularly tough
• Really good news of some kind
• Other special things you can make a big deal of to have FUN!

Fall on the Floor

Kids love to see an adult so shocked or impressed that they actually fall on the floor! A good time to do this is after they've cleaned up their mess from an activity they just finished.

Have Special Days or Events

For Example, Wacky Wednesday:
• Have everyone wear mismatched socks, or mismatched everything!
• Wear some clothes inside out
• Try shorts over pants
• Underwear or swimsuits on your head
• Use your imagination, and remember “Let Loose” and “Be Wacky”

Wacky Week - Have a ‘Wacky Theme’ for each day:
• Pajama Day
• Beach Day (perfect for snowy days). Turn your living room into a ‘beach’; wear swimsuits and sunglasses; and dance to The Beach Boys
• Hat Day – everyone wears a hat, preferably a bit wacky!
• Clown Day – everyone dresses up as a clown. (You too!)
• Pie In The Face Day - Oh, Yes – This IS real!!! We tell the kids at the very beginning of all The CrabbieMasters stuff that when everyone BEATS all of The Crabbies, they get to throw pies in our faces! (Ready Whip on 6” paper plates.) You can make this a class or a family event. Add to this by putting a Gummy Worm on the plate first and covering it with Ready Whip – they can put their hands behind their backs and dig through the Ready Whip to pull out the Gummy Worm with their teeth. Kids absolutely love this! Have lots of paper towels ready! And no Crabbies about the mess!

Picnic with Beach Towels in your TV Room

• Eat Lunch or Dinner
• Watch a Movie!
• Relax!

Have a ‘Camp Out’

• In Your Living Room
• Sleep in Sleeping Bags
• Eat Hot Dogs and Marshmallows

Go Camping for Real

It’s a great reward for whatever you are working on. Plus, kids LOVE camping!

Anything to MAKE IT FUN!!!

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